die_fleiderhat

Blame orangutank. It was his idea, and he made me do it.

Addendum - Well, I must say I'm very surprised and very flattered that this has been so widely read and enjoyed.

To answer cheetara32's question (great hair, by the way), I've written a few "Secret Diary" style posts before, but they have been in-jokes for fellow live roleplayers so they wouldn't be of any special interest to others. I'm not sure if I'll write anything like this again, but if I do, I'll post it. Thank you :-)

I registered the LJ name for "lastdalek" so I could move this across, but I've noticed that someone else has already done an LJ under the name "thelastdalek". Although it's very different in style, I don't want to tread on anyone's toes, so I'll leave this posting here.

Oh, I rather like what someone's done with lastcyberman. Go and see.

There were several other questions in the comments, which I will try to answer as follows. I may have got a bit confused, however:

Yes, it was a great episode.
Mostly brown.
About 6 at the last count.
Sunny, with cloudy intervals.
Good.

Thanks again.



Date unknown

AFTER 23 DAYS ON THIS SHIP, THE INVASION FLEET IS NEAR GALLIFREY. WE WILL EXTERMINATE INTERFERING TIME LORDS. THE DALEKS WILL PREVAIL. EXTERMINATE.

Date unknown

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date unknown

WHERE AM I? THE PAIN! THE PAIN! MUST SEND DISTRESS CALL!

Date unknown

OH GREAT. THE DOCTOR. WOULD EXTERMINATE, BUT DALEK GUN BROKEN. WOULD PLUMB, BUT PLUNGER BROKEN.

I AM THE LAST DALEK. I AM ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE. NO ONE WILL SAVE ME FROM TORTURE AND A SLOW, LINGERING DEATH. THINGS COULD NOT BE ANY WORSE.

Later . . .

PREVIOUS ASSESSMENT INCORRECT. THE DOCTOR HAS SENT A TEENAGE POP SINGER INTO MY CELL. HE WOULD MAKE A GOOD DALEK.

Later . . .

March 19th, 2012 20:19

AFTER EXTRACTING THE DNA OF THE DOCTOR'S COMPANION, I AM WHOLE AGAIN, ALTHOUGH I FEEL A STRANGE URGE TO SAY "BECAUSE WE WANT TO" AT THE END OF EVERY SENTENCE. NOW, WILL EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! BECAUSE WE WANT TO!

20:25

HAVE DOWNLOADED THE HUMAN DISTRIBUTED KNOWLEDGE NETWORK. WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE, I WILL TOTALLY PWN THE HUMANS. I R0XX0R. I WILL RECORD THE PROGRESS OF HUMAN EXTERMINATION IN ONE OF THESE LIVEJOURNALS, ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS THEY ARE USUALLY USED FOR DOCUMENTING THE SELF-PITY OF MISERABLE HUMANS.

20:32

HAVE KILLED MY TORTURER AND SEVERAL OTHER HUMANS. HAVE ALSO COMPLETED INTERESTING SURVEY, STOLEN FROM lastcyberman:

Which Dr Who villain are you?

You are the Last Dalek!

Will to dominate - 100%
Will to exterminate - 200%
Compassion - 0%
Sofa factor - 10

You are the Last Dalek! You are completely alone in the universe and have no meaning to your existence! You will attempt to destroy all life on the planet, but even if you succeed you will be stuck there forever, continuing a meaningless existence until the heat death of the Earth!

I FEEL A STRANGE SENSATION. NOT JUST LONELINESS. I FEEL . . . DEPRESSED. AND I FEEL . . . AS IF I MUST TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT.

20:46

HAVE KILLED MORE HUMANS. LOST COUNT PART WAY THROUGH. WHAT'S THE POINT, AFTER ALL?

THESE FEELINGS ARE CONFUSING ME. THINGS USED TO BE SO SIMPLE.

I . . . I HAVE WRITTEN A POEM ABOUT HOW I FEEL. PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU LIKE IT, AND WHY:



20:51

HAVE CHASED POPSTAR AND SOAPSTAR SIDEKICK ALONG LOTS OF CORRIDORS NOW. THE CORRIDORS ARE NEVER ENDING, MUCH LIKE THIS DRAWN OUT, POINTLESS EXISTENCE.

SOME MORE HUMANS TRIED TO STOP ME. I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE KILLING THEM, SO I MADE THE SPRINKLERS GO OFF AND TRIED THE FLOATING TRICK TO SCARE THEM. THEN I FIRED A WARNING SHOT, WHICH ELECTROCUTED THEM ALL.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL THEM!!! I'M SO UPSET!!! AND NO ONE HAS COMMENTED ABOUT MY POEM!!! NONE OF YOU REALLY CARE, DO YOU???

21:08

WENT REALLY SLOWLY, HOPING GIRL WOULD GET AWAY. SHE DIDN'T. USELESS COW. CAN'T KILL HER. TOO DEPRESSED. SHE HAS ALREADY SUFFERED TOO MUCH, BEING MARRIED TO THAT GINGER TOSSER.

21:12

I JUST WANT TO DIE. PLEASE, WILL SOMEONE TELL ME TO DIE? THIS DEPRESSION IS LIKE A DARK SHADOW, PRESSING MY SPIRIT DOWN, DOWN, FOREVER DOWN. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS OR TRULY CARES. NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN ALONE LIKE THIS.

21:14

BLOODY GIRL. DOCTOR HAD A BIG GUN. I EVEN OPENED THE CASING SO HE COULD GET A CLEAR SHOT. STUPID BINT GOT IN THE WAY. WHY CAN'T SHE LET ME DIE? BECAUSE I WANT TO!

21:15

STILL NO COMMENTS. YOU'RE ALL BASTARDS AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME. WELL, I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF AND LEAVE THIS LJ AS A TESTAMENT TO MY MISERY, LIKE ALL THE OTHER LJS IN THE WORLD. THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY.

AFK